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Rant 2...

Why is it so hard to be a good person? Is it because we do not know the meaning of good? Maybe if we weren’t taught that praying to God is a good thing, to serve him is good and so on. Kids are always more receptive then adults. As we grow older, we develop a thicker skin. Always viewing anything new with a scepticism to avoid getting hurt or to avoid getting mocked. As kids, it’s easy to believe. Being exposed to “religion” at this time can be extremely damaging. We learn the definition of “good” and “bad” from a relative point of view and once you learn this, you wouldn’t want to learn something again. Would you? As we grow up, we start seeing the meaning of these two words in a different light. However we reject it and refuse to look at it because that voice in your head says, “C’mon, I already know that stuff. This is just someone trying to test me.” No, it is not a test. It’s just life. Things just happen. Plain and simple. You can choose to get involved, or stay out of it. But remember, you cannot un-see what you have already seen. So, you are already involved. What is “good” for someone may turn out to be “bad” for someone else.

I have never seen so much effort go to waste as is wasted in the name of religion. If only we could spend at least half that effort into bringing up society instead of instilling fear in our young ones. Granted, not all religions promote fear. ISKCON is built on the terms that rejects God fearing. Yet, is it really that hard for human beings to learn, act while being aware of the consequences and accept responsibilities? And if it is so difficult, why isn’t this taught in schools. I do not know how many people did this, but I was one of those people who would chuckle sarcastically whenever someone said that humans are at the pinnacle of evolution on this planet. Not because I believe in the existence of some fictional species that is more evolved than ours. But, because I believe it takes more than just being able to build amazing things to deserve the honour of placing this wreath on our heads.

I do not believe that we are a failure. But we need to waste less time and effort in believing and utilize more of it in acting…


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I don’t know what I am going to write… As usual. I am mostly confused whether I should talk to myself or to someone else. I have these urges of spending time with other people. But, at the same time there are barely any people I like spending time with. I over-think things, because that is the only way I can create enough noise to change my mood as soon as things get dark. That, and because I’m compulsively creative (for the same purpose). I am purely reflective. i.e. I am versatile to get into any role a person or situation demands. But this versatility is also damaging to my identity. I suffer from basic problems like not knowing what I like or dislike. I cannot do those, “Quick! Tell me what you want to do right now!” kind of games. While most people lose all layers and dig out their identity after that statement, I go blank. Because I do not want anything. I have no desires in life, nor aim, nor purpose. And hence, no ambition. I can pick up a piece of paper on the street because …


With Fear and dread overcome,
Moments dampening my spirit.
There is a brand new world
Made for me but I ain't in it.

These roles that I choose
And the masks that I wear
Ripping holes; I stagger confused
As I'm slowly stripped bare.

Shadows and silhouettes,
Shifting me like I'm broken.
I can't find my heart
Though I'm torn open.

I cry not for shame, I guess
Because shame's just a token,
A mark, to show the mess
That you can expiate, once spoken.

In a lucid dream I lay,
Not sleeping, nor awakened.
A suspended immortality
Not living, nor dead.