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The way we are...

The way we said our last goodbye
I don't remember seeing you cry.
To me, each second seemed like a year.
You didn't feel the same, but maybe I wasn't there.

It took time but I found my feet.
I tried to reason why, but never could see.
You tried to talk and I turned away,
Pushing too hard and stumbling down darker ways

And then it wasn't about you anymore.
I saw people around me who could take no more.
Building walls too high to scale,
Snatching my bricks, they pulled me awake.

By then you had already given up.
Turns out, it was a good thing the jig was up.
After all we had been through,
You still let go so soon.

Although each day feels like a fresh new start
It still feels like we were never meant to part
Yet, here we are now and I can do nought
But see how it turns out...

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With Fear and dread overcome,
Moments dampening my spirit.
There is a brand new world
Made for me but I ain't in it.

These roles that I choose
And the masks that I wear
Ripping holes; I stagger confused
As I'm slowly stripped bare.

Shadows and silhouettes,
Shifting me like I'm broken.
I can't find my heart
Though I'm torn open.

I cry not for shame, I guess
Because shame's just a token,
A mark, to show the mess
That you can expiate, once spoken.

In a lucid dream I lay,
Not sleeping, nor awakened.
A suspended immortality
Not living, nor dead.